Should I go to marriage counseling or therapy? That’s the question that many people wonder about, especially if their spouse is asking them this. It’s a difficult decision to make, but it’s one that should not be taken lightly. There are many reasons why some couples decide that they should take the other road and see if they can fix the problems that are plaguing their relationship. But what steps should you take before deciding on which route you should take?
If you are reading this article, then it is probably because you are having serious marital problems that have been affecting your relationship for quite some time. You may have noticed that you and your spouse have been arguing all the time, and it may even seem like the marriage has turned into a negative affair. Either way, it’s important to know what options you have when it comes to saving your marriage before you decide on going to therapy or counseling.
First of all, if you’ve noticed that the arguments you have are getting more frequent, and you feel as though your marriage may be heading for the rocks, you should probably consider talking to a professional counselor about your problem. This isn’t a sign that your marriage has failed, and you shouldn’t think that a marriage counseling program will be able to save your marriage. In fact, it could be the very thing that will save your marriage! Many couples who attend marriage counseling programs are able to go back to their married lives five years later.
Now, should you decide to go to counseling. There are many different types of programs that you can attend. If you are scared of the negative connotations marriage counseling may convey, you may want to go with a more spiritual approach. The objective of such a program would be to help you understand how your problems got started in the first place. If you find that you simply don’t believe in the idea of a “voodoo” spell being cast to fix your marriage, you may want to try a more secular approach. You may wish to visit an alternative counselor instead.
If you’re a man, your therapist may ask you to bring a picture of the problem that you wish to discuss with him. A male therapist is less likely to worry about a female partner bringing in the “dark side.” If you aren’t comfortable with the idea of your therapist hovering over your shoulder and judging your every move, you might want to select a less intrusive type of therapy. Also, should you and your spouse ever become heated, you should remember that therapy won’t magically whisk away your problems. It will require your effort on your part to change the way you interact with each other, but once you do, your marriage can be saved.
As far as whether or not a marriage counseling program will really help you is something that only you can determine. Each person is different, and so is their potential for saving their marriage. You may find that you need to work with multiple therapists before you find a combination that works for you. Your initial consultation should be able to answer many of the questions that you have about counseling, and can steer you toward a therapy that has worked for others.
If you choose to attend counseling sessions with a spiritual adviser, keep in mind that it is important not to try to force the issue with the counselor. As a result, your efforts to save your marriage should come from within. The counselor is there to be of service to you, not to force your hand. In the end, if both parties agree to go through counseling, it should be a mutual decision, and should not be forced upon them.
If you and your spouse are going through a recent marital crisis, it’s wise to take some time out of the marriage to seek counseling. This may help you both to gain perspective and have a fresh perspective on your situation. You may find that the couple of whom you are married is better able to communicate and work together more effectively when they receive individualized attention. So, should you and your spouse decide to go through with counseling, you will likely discover that your marriage can work.