Can therapists tell when you are lying? I’ve often found myself in awkward situations where I was the one being deceptive. At work, I’d get in a meeting and lie about something important. At home, I’d make up a reason, and then I’d try to use that as the truth when the boss asked me questions. Needless to say, both situations were not good for me and left me feeling guilty for lying.
Some people may think that they can’t be accused of lying, especially since we are usually in a professional environment. The problem is that you may never feel comfortable lying because you feel your actions are under scrutiny. This may even cause you to fabricate stories that you may not necessarily believe, which can make you look bad and make you appear guilty even if you’re not. Here are some signs that may indicate that your lies are not being detected:
You’ve planned ahead to create an argument or take advantage of someone else. This is very common, particularly in professions like law, medicine and accountancy where people are required to give their clients the best advice. It can also happen behind the scenes in relationships or with other people. You may even find yourself planning a lie just before you speak – think of how it would affect other people.
Sometimes you’re careful not to say too much. You may feel that you don’t have to spill everything just to save your hide, even if you’re not confident that you’ll be able to get more truthful answers. When you’re lying, though, there is no way you can avoid saying something that you will later regret. You may even find yourself afraid to talk to another person due to this fear.
You tend to keep things to yourself. You may try to make yourself sound smart and convincing to others, but deep down you know that you’re just keeping it away from them. This is also a common behavior among people who lie. They don’t want other people to know what they’re up to because they know that it will tarnish their reputation. They think that by keeping their deceit a secret, they won’t have to deal with it.
You find yourself having difficulty telling the truth. If you’re a truth teller, then you find it difficult to answer a question or respond to a fact because you’re afraid that you might be lying or avoiding the truth. A therapist can detect a lying behavior even before the client knows that he’s being analyzed. He or she will observe your facial expressions, body language and even your speech pattern. A therapist will also check for shifts in your attention, which can indicate when you’re faking what you’re really saying. A person who is really lying will tend to look away from the person asking the question or to turn his eyes away from the person asking the question.
A client may start to change his story and tell a slightly different version of events. However, if you ask him the follow up question, will he be able to clarify what he meant by his earlier statement? Most therapists will find out whether the person is actually lying or not by his body language and reactions. There are people who are good at acting when they’re actually lying and there are people who are good at speaking truthfully only when it’s useful to do so.
How can therapists tell when you are lying? Sometimes, the simplest answer is right under your nose. When you’re talking and someone asks you a question that might be interpreted as a lie, smile or look away when you’re talking. The person will usually realize that you know what they are trying to do and will soon leave you alone. The person talking to you won’t have to lie for you to realize that he/she is trying to manipulate you or use your trust to get something from you. The truth will always come to you.