Is your therapist a good friend or a bad friend? Many of us have been in the position where we wonder this question. You might even be asking yourself this today, having read this article. If this is the case for you, and you still love your therapist, then there are some things that you can do to make sure that they stay that way, and you won’t waste your time or energy on someone who will never be a good friend.
Firstly, when you first meet your therapist, give them a huge hug. A big, rough hug, but not too big. Allow your therapist to feel as though they are just a friend, and not some sort of therapist, although of course, your therapist knows more about you than most people, and they will treat you as such. This will show your therapist that you are self-confident enough to let them into your heart – it will show them that you’re not scared of them ‘getting’ you.
After hugging your therapist, tell them thank you. Tell them that you hope to develop a friendship. Don’t take any further action, other than to smile and say that you will consider what that would mean to you. Ask them if they would like to be your ‘friends.’ In fact, ask them to introduce you to their other patients. Don’t worry, they will be glad that you are taking the time to do this.
In fact, don’t be afraid to show them that you think they’re ‘nice.’ Let them know that you find their kindness and understanding admirable. Show them respect. Don’t use manipulative techniques, or try to use them on your therapist. Just be genuine. And, if they think that you’re trying to manipulate them or play them off against each other, then they’ll automatically understand that you aren’t trustworthy.
Your therapist will probably ask questions about what happened when you were together. Ask them how you feel about the incident. You’ll be surprised how easy this conversation will get you talking about the issues that you both need to address.
If you have children, ask your therapist if you can hang out with them and their therapists at the same time. Sometimes people feel more comfortable if they are able to interact with people who have the same goals in mind. Your therapist will appreciate that you are open to this arrangement.
It will be good to keep in mind that you’re going through a range of emotions. Be kind, and don’t criticize what other people’s emotions are. Try not to be critical of your own emotions. The other person’s happiness and unhappiness, for their part, should be yours to share.
You can be friends with your therapist. When you’re starting to feel comfortable with each other, it will be natural to discuss matters between the two of you. As you forge a relationship that is based on trust and respect, you’ll find that you can have fun exploring all of the things that make you friends.
If you find that you are drawn to one another, you can talk about any of your past issues. Sometimes, people are so insecure about certain aspects of their lives that they bring up stuff they wish they hadn’t. However, it’s important to find out if your therapist shares your views. For example, if you don’t think you’re smart enough to manage your finances, but your therapist feels that you’re intelligent, he or she may want to help you change certain ways of managing your money that are poor. Or vice versa, if your therapist finds you to be a problem solver, you can discuss things that cause you stress in your life.
A great way to get to know one another is by sharing your past experiences. For example, if you both feel that you’ve had difficult relationships in the past, you’ll likely discuss how you can relate to one another. As well as sharing some of your own pasts, you’ll also find that you’re able to relate to your therapist more as well. People often have difficulty opening up with their therapists; however, if you both share some of your pasts, you’ll be able to address and work through your problems more effectively. As well as this, it also builds a bond between you, as you’ll feel that you understand each other better.
When you first meet with your therapist, he or she will likely ask you questions about your personal relationships, work, family, etc. This is a great opportunity to find out if you feel comfortable with your therapist. If you feel comfortable, he or she will be more willing to delve into certain areas in your life. Additionally, you’ll likely be asked to give your therapist feedback on how he or she is working with you.
In short, you may find that you can be friends with your therapist. However, it’s important that you realize that this isn’t always the case. Some people are just not comfortable sharing their most personal issues with another person; therefore, you may find that your therapist is slightly apprehensive at first, wanting to know more and testing the waters. Once you’ve started therapy and have developed a working relationship, chances are good that you’ll find that you can be friends with your therapist. If not, you need to consider whether there are other ways that you can work through your issues without involving your therapist in the process.